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Location: london, United Kingdom

Sunday, May 28, 2006

i tilt too

Wow im typing this after just tilting. kudos to me for stopping play. strange that i did though. i made $350 this afternoon, then lost $40 this evening and THAT sent me on tilt. wtf is wrong with me.
i think its cos i think i should just beat NL25 so bad that i cant believe it when i dont. i'm donking at 3.5PT/100. ffs. had some serious suckouts, but last session nothing went right. dissed by the deck. meh.
I want another 2000 hands at NL100 for the week, and to get it I'm gonna do it only 2 tabling. I'm really pussying out. just suck it up you fool. So no more NL25, which im not really killing anyway (cos im running really cold)

i crashed and burned in the WPT £5000 overlay. that sucked. man some serious shit, i dont want to talk about it.

i played the $15000 guaranteed on party. interesting tourney, only $6 buyin, but a huge 2700 field. it there was a slight overlay which basically meant the tourney fee was reduced to only 10%. anyway i sucked here too, played a SS all the way through, got no action on my best hands.

i got hit in the face by the deck this afternoon so its all good. i havent really made much money this week. im not totalling up properly untill the end of the week. i think im up around $260 right now. I've really been dissed by the deck hard, getting soome serious suckouts and just plain bad flops.

talked to lewi today, good to talk poker with someone. Poker is lonely, not in the fact that i dont see my friends, but in the fact that there's no one too share with. i cant discuss decisions, i cant talk about theory, i cant talk about winnings losses because the people i know dont understand the whole process. if you ask how im doing and i say im up $400 today, im not bragging, thats just how it went down. if i lose $200 and you tell me to stop its just stupid because you are letting short term results affect thinking, even though im +EV.

Thats what 'non-poker' people just dont get imo and that how i dont understand the process that investment banks recruit their traders. in the end they need to be able to stand short term fluctuations. i would say 85% of these kids dont have a clue and have no experience at it. personally im extremely experienced, much more capable and would almost definitely make a much better trader than most of my class mates, but alas i was a fool and neglected my studies. i guess im only thinking about this particular job because its what almost everyone is gearing for. The most prestigious job because everyone fancies themselves as a great arbitrage creator, yet none have any clue. Also its about as high paid as you can get without going into uppermanagement, and its very merit based (apparently). One of my friends has an internship with Equities trading at Deutsche Bank. He thinks its not realistic for me to expect to win at poker, and that long term its zero EV. I tried to give him a brief run down of how to play, he didnt get it.

Him: "Go on then. Explain to me an 'advanced concept' that means you are a winning play and others are losers"

Me: "Ok here's a basic concept that makes me a winner: this is pot equity. blah blah blah. math and diagrams included"

Him: "No that doesn't make sense how can it be right to call there when you know you are behind. Also how can you bet when you only have 2 cards. there's another 5 still to come... Blah blah blah."

Me: *sigh*. " tell you what, when all your banker (read intern) friends decide to have a poker game, get me in and you'll get to see some 'advanced concepts' for free"

If these guys cant get the concepts of poker, who in their right minds would let them take charge of million ££ portfolios. I have a new theory as to why an extremely high % of traders change to other professions. Its cos 80% of them tilt and fuck up. They don't know how to gamble in a +EV manner and so either get so stressed that they quit or just get fired. In the end only the ones that would make good poker players continue to trade, since they have the skill set to do it. (oh and i'm accounting for the 5% that just get lucky over a prolonged period. It happens)

Also if anyone reads this from my halls, stop fucking asking me to transfer over tv programmes. If I'm online I'm fucking busy. I'm at work.
Yes poker is now my job, so when I'm 'playing', I'm working. Its very rude to keep pestering me. If you want to talk, call me. I'm happy to talk. also if you come to my room and you see poker tables open, fuck off. This is really serious. I dont want to be rude but i'm not gonna pay any attention to you when i'm playing. so u can just sit on my bed and watch, or you can piss off.
I DO NOT want to start talking about how last night was, just assume it was fine. we'll talk at dinner. Oh, and yes, being able to move an MSN chat window from one screen to the other is 'very cool'.


Blogger EthanHunt said...

lol @ "Oh, and yes, being able to move an MSN chat window from one screen to the other is 'very cool'."

6:45 AM  

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